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What were you thinking? are you building or burning?

Writer: Rose OdetteRose Odette

Why Bold Critics Sabotage Their Own Success

Criticism, when done right, can be constructive and lead to growth. But when it’s delivered with boldness—without tact, empathy, or timing—it can destroy the very relationships that made the conversation possible in the first place. The irony? Those who criticize harshly often worked hard to build the rapport they end up breaking.


5 Truths About Harsh Criticism

  1. Trust Takes Time, But It Can Break in an Instant – People spend months or even years establishing trust, yet one overly aggressive critique can shatter it overnight.

  2. Delivery Matters as Much as Content – A valuable insight, when delivered carelessly, can feel like an attack instead of guidance.

  3. Criticism Without Empathy Feels Like an Ultimatum – If feedback lacks understanding, the person receiving it will focus on the attack, not the advice.

  4. The Best Leaders Balance Boldness with Emotional Intelligence – Calling out flaws is easy; guiding someone toward a solution is the real skill.

  5. Criticism Should Strengthen, Not Weaken – If your words make people defensive instead of inspired, you’re not giving feedback—you’re just venting.


5 Ways to Criticize Without Losing Rapport

Ask Before You Advise – "Would you like my feedback on this?" sets a cooperative tone.✅ Speak With, Not At – Criticism should feel like a conversation, not a verdict.✅ Use the 3-to-1 Rule – For every critique, offer three positives to balance the conversation.✅ Be Clear, Not Harsh – Directness doesn’t require cruelty. You can be honest without being abrasive.✅ Consider the Goal – Are you helping, or just proving a point? If it doesn’t lead to progress, it’s just noise.


The Takeaway:

People who criticize with boldness often believe they are demonstrating strength, but in reality, they are sabotaging their influence. Boldness without wisdom breaks bonds, while thoughtful critique strengthens them. The next time you need to give feedback, ask yourself: Am I building or burning?


 
 
 

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